Ooh la la! It is time to delve into ze world of ze mustard. Today’s selection comes to us all the way from France (by way of Trader Joe’s): Trader Joe’s Whole Grain Dijon. I like this mustard because it has a lot of texture and tang, and it doesn’t taste like much besides mustard (no raspberries or jalapenos or foie gras or anything fancy—don’t get me wrong; I like fancy mustard, just not all the time). Also, this one is much cheaper than other whole grain dijons I’ve seen.
This mustard is great on regular mustard-y things like sandwiches and sandwiches, but it’s also handy in salad dressings or as a seasoning for roasted vegetables. I like it on that stuff because the mustard grains are really big and kinda crunchy. That said, the grains can be slippery and make for a weird eating experience.
Trader Joe’s Whole Grain Dijon Mustard Haiku:
Mustard-y mustard.
Lots of grains, versatile stuff.
And it is cheap, too.
Rating: Four/Five Sauce Packets:
I’m sure it will become obvious throughout the Condiment Club series that, while I love all types of condiments, I especially love those of the hot sauce variety. Hot sauce makes just about everything taste better, with the exception of possibly popsicles (it’s tough to put hot sauce on things that are frozen solid).
One of my all-time favorite hot sauces is Secret Aardvark Habanero Hot Sauce. Even the name is fun! This sauce, known in our shared hometown of Portland simply as Aardvark (though Secret Aardvark makes other sauces that I’ll review here in future posts), is the quintessential flavorful hot condiment. It is pleasantly spicy but also has a lot of taste besides just heat, and even though it’s a habanero-based sauce it is not overly burn-y. I especially like to put Aardvark on breakfast items like eggs or biscuit sandwiches, but it goes on just about any food that could use a kick in the pants. The Secret Aardvark website touts this sauce as a “holistic cure-all” and I think they might be onto something. (Note: do not take Secret Aardvark Habanero Hot Sauce instead of antibiotics.)
Of course, no Condiment Club review would be complete without a photo and a Haiku from Condoleeza, the Condiment Club cat:
Secret Aardvark Habanero Hot Sauce Haiku:
Oh, mighty Aardvark.
Habaneros make you great.
Get on my breakfast.
Rating: Five/Five Sauce Packets
Welcome to Condiment Club! Condiment Club is a place for condiment enthusiasts to talk about, think about, and look at photos of awesome condiments. You might be asking yourself then, why are we still reading this intro? Let’s get to the condiments already! Good thinking!
First order of business: Huy Fong Chili Garlic Sauce. Chili Garlic sauce often gets overlooked by Huy Fong enthusiasts because they’re blinded by Sriracha (note: Sriracha really can blind you). In this condiment lover’s opinion, however, Chili Garlic is the superior sauce. It’s just as spicy as Sriracha, but it is more flavorful and has more texture due to the seeds and garlic and such. You know who else likes Chili Garlic Sauce? Condi, the Condiment Club Cat!
Huy Fong Chili Garlic Sauce Haiku:
Spicy. Tastes good too.
Try in soup or on popcorn.
Not good for douching.
Rating: Five/Five Sauce Packets
